It is with great terror that I write this my 100th post... Why terror? Simple.
I turned up for work a half hour early, and within minutes I was called in the General Manager's office? I wasn't so worried about being fired. What I was worried about is looking like a fool on my second day of work. "So, what's your opinion on the primary construct of our premier insurance policy?", she'd ask, and I'd answer, "C."
Fortunately, I was not made to feel like a fool. However, I've been forced to worry about feeling like a fool for at least another two hours. She asked me to join a panel which is review the setup of a particular customer service. I'm sure ("I hope" is more like it) that I have little to worry about; given I have hardly any insurance experience, (never mind the fact that the forum isn't really about insurance), I'm sure I won't be pressed too much, but rather allowed to get a feel of things and chalk up experience.
Don't tell my churning belly that. It's still worried about looking like a fool. In fact, it feels like that everyday, and will probably do so for quite a few days and weeks to come, until I truly feel at home. I'm sure many people, when starting a new job in a new field, struggle to fight that feeling that they'll be found out, that they will show that they don't deserver their position. I hope not to justify that feeling. I'm better than that :-)
3 comments:
Change turns my belly inside out like the way you describe. Even in my most humiliating moments, when I look back either the experience was completey exhilarating, or one of those "learning experiences" :s . Wouldn't change a hair for the world though :D
Good old tummy churnings and cramps!! Every five weeks I change to a new rotation. I face another onslaught of learning the idiosyncracies of a new service and new people. Then just as you adjust its exam time and then "Next"!
Often I feel it's like musical chairs. I'm waiting to see if I'll miss this chair and it'll be all over.
But.... we better than that!!
As you get more indoctrinated into the working world, you will learn that on some level most people pretends to know more than they actually do, theyre just good at faking it. Believe me, is not you one.
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