My new plan is that, in a few years time, I'm gonna find some people that knew me back when I was in high school, and ask them, "Have I changed?"
A major part of the problem with our society is our ignorance to the diversity of personalities. We want everybody to be the way that makes us comfortable, or we label them as 'weird' or say they have 'issues'. Truth be told, some of them do have issues... some of YOU do have issues... then again, you're probably saying the same about me, aren't you? Man, this is messed up!
So yes, maybe in your eyes I have issues. But so what? We can't all be the same. Is your duty therefore to try and alter me to suit your specifications, or is it to just accept me for who I am?
It's that dilemma that causes many relationships (of all kinds) to crumble. Too many times we approach relationships with an attitude of 'Well I can't stand that about him, so I'm gonna try and get it out of him.' The reality of the situation, however, is that years of being you doesn't get erased with a few words from some other person. In fact, what's more likely to develop is some amount of friction as the changer drives the changee up a wall.
In any case, is this drastic change possible? Yes, Jah Cure seems very sincere in his rendition of 'True Reflections'... But is he gonna be any less a sex offender when he gets out of prison? Well, anything's possible, and he really may be a 'better man'. But I think 7 times out of 10 you won't be able to shake the real deep-rooted personality of an individual, no matter how hard you push. So the key to me is, acceptance... and for criminals, prison.
But this helps me to answer the Seeker's post. One of the traits of true love is the ability to accept, to see beyond what you consider to be faults and glorify the positives wherever possible. It's the same for husband/wife, father/daughter, best friends, anyone who has some level of regard for another person. So if you manage to rid yourself of your 'issues', great! But if not, life goes on. I think the only things we should rush to change about ourselves are the things we ourselves don't like. There comes a point where we must put personal satisfaction over public acceptance. Life's too short to waste it trying to please everyone else.
2 comments:
Amen to that, Adrian. We can't change people to suit us. The most we can do is help them if they see something in themselves they want to change. I know for me, I have changed over the last several years, but it has all been a conscious effort on my part and not as a result of the outside meddlers. :-)
Internal Locus of Control.
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