I am black.
When you read those 3 words, what's the first thing that came to mind? Bear in mind not only the words said, but who said them. Adrian said he's black. Is he saying he's black as opposed to white, or is he saying he's black as opposed to brown, or fair, or clear?
I've never been the lightest-skinned apple in the tree... OK, that's understated. I've typical been amongst the darkest-skinned. That ever-present reality made the earlier stages of my life (right up through to high school especially) really hard for me. I would've been fine with it on my own. But there seemed to be the daily need of others to remind me of how 'black' I was. Suddenly, I was another race. In my own little way, I was a slave, enslaved by the ridicule and belittling bestowed upon me by others, including those I called my friends. It was painful.
For years I'd head home and stare in the mirror, trying to tell myself that I was fine to look at, hoping that somehow I'd look 'less black' than I did the day before. But it never changed. My life got no easier. I was amongst the 'different'- the disabled, the albinos, the odd-looking, the black- we were all in the same boat, all vulnerable to the same verbal assault that society had to offer. And as the years rolled on I became more self-conscious, more ashamed to be me.
As I look back I know it wasn't intentional. I know children say things without lamenting the mental consequences to others. And I'm OK with it now. As time rolled on some more I slowly left that self-conscious phase of my life (for the most part anyway; a part of it will always live with me). But now I find myself an advocate for blackness. I don't mean that I'm encouraging mass tanning, but I'm encouraging us to speak of each other in less degrading ways. Yes, I'm black, but so are you (unless you're not, of course :-) ). Why then should I be referred to as 'the black one'? I don't think anything irks me more than hearing someone being referred to that way. And that's not a thing that only children say, even the oldest of persons can be heard referring to 'the black one'. It's so ridiculous to me.
Words like 'fair' get to me as well; they indicate some sort of superior quality that simply isn't. It's not like we have dark blue and 'fair' blue, right? Why should it be any different with us? Light-skinned, dark-skinned, don't those words suffice?
It's these little things that make us who we are, and set the tone for how society views its people. 'Yuh black like' should never be an insult. But that's what it is here. In this way we perpetuate the very mindset that made slavery, racism and discrimination possible. In fact, we have to be careful how we choose to make fun of a person's permanent structure, whether it be skin colour, or size, or facial features. I'm OK with me now, but there was a time when I wasn't, and making jokes about me then would simply crush me and my self-esteem. Respect is the key.
I am black. Aren't you?
5 comments:
It isn't very often someone is honest and open as you are about how colour discrimination affects them. It's good to see that you have passed that and have accepted you for you.
I am black...and proud!
As for me I would hear all the snickers if I declared "I am black" so I will stick to my usual response "I am Jamaican".
I never grew up really thinking about black or white, I just realized some people were darker than others. Probably a result of the difference in skin colour between my parents.
Oddly enough I used to be ridiculed for my fair-skin because it seemed to indicate to some that I was less-Jamaican than them. Didn't help that I happened to not be born here (my parents were away at the time), although at least as far back as great-grandparents my family were all Jamaican-born and bred.
So I whole-heartedly agree: forget the colour words and show respect for all.
I truly only realized what the darkest among us must go through when I dated a dark guy. Prior to that, I didn't know people in Jamaica were still so ignorant.
My thoughts on this are along the same lines of B's.
Frankly I'm sick of this 'Black & White' foolishness. Especially living here in NY, where colour is MORE of an issue than at home. I tend to get grouped with the 'African-American/Black' people.
None of us are any of those extremes, and Jamaican's are so mixed up, that we are even more difficult to categorize as such.
Look, if you want my skin colour: it's dark brown, milk chocolate & beautiful.
Other than that: I am Jamaican!! Loud and Proud!! Nuff Said!
I'm with y'all...down with the colour tags. Having been one of the darkest persons at my family reunions for a number of years I know of what you speak, and hated it.
I say dark chocolate, white chocolate, milk chocolate - it's all good.
I'm black. I lived in the states and watched them tip-toe around the colour thing with the Black-Americans in my school; they were lighter than me. It never reached me because I had a more powerful weapon..... I was Jamaican. Others got the colour/race card I got the Nationality card.
The greatest colour issue for me was back in Jamaica where ppl in arguments with me called me 'black like' in exasperation and I felt guilty because they were complementing me and I was cussing them. It took me a while to realise that it was a curse and not a blessing. To this day it's still funny. I actually had to ask my mom because I didn't understand.
My father and I would get lost in the dark. Luckily I lived with my mom cause my father had colour issues too because of the same sort of thing... he also lives in the US where its apparently quite blatant.
I've turned it into sport for me. I used to dress in all black and in construction boots and walk straight towards ppl and watch them jump out of the way. "big black man coming...." That was funny.
Didn't seem so funny when the police used to stop me all the time with big guns at my head, right in my own country.
Glad things are better for you now. Human nature makes us categorise everything. If we could remove the negative connotations we'd be better off.
Post a Comment