Bite Size

• So what's the best thing to come out of this Digicel cricket series?... Rephrase- what's the only good thing to come out of this series? A tough dancehall/soca track featuring Alison Hinds and Spragga Benz. "A say wi tell ya, wi gonna make it bigga, wi gonna make it betta...!" Damn right! Bigga betta losers are hard to find!

• Apparently, my neighbour's two houses have been running on their generator for about a month now. Why? Cause they refuse to pay their electric bill. One of occupants is a JP! Questions: Isn't that shameful? Isn't that expensive? Isn't that illegal? Isn't that LOUD???

• Why are people afraid to reveal their age? When did your age become a matter of choice? "Oh, I'm 50, how embarassing!" It's not like weight or blood pressure, you know, things you actually have a little control over. If you're 39 and you tell people you're 27, it won't make you live 12 years longer! Deal with it!

• Women, it's time for equality! You know I'm a gentleman, so I respect women's wish to have the toilet seat left down. But guys, you know that time when you really need to go, and so you rush to the toilet and lift the seat, only the seat has a thick cover and so it can't stay up by itself, and you have to hold the underneath of that wet, germ-infested seat up yourself! Mind you, this is while you're rushing to get your stuff out before you soak yourself, so you're very much occupied already. Is that fair? NO, ladies can't wipe a wet toilet seat, but men should rub our hands all up in it! We want justice!

4 bites. That's a wrap.