As of a minute ago (aka midnight), I'm now celebrating 4 and a half years of my current relationship. Obviously it's been going on since I was about 2... that's how it feels anyway. Not that I'm complaining. I was never one to bitch about not wanting to be off the market for too long, or about getting tired of people, or anything like that. Commitment is my thing, and it seems to be inherent more than anything else. Maybe it's just how I was brought up.
.
Undoubtedly I’m pleased. Not many people I know have been able to sustain a relationship this long, and certainly nobody I know at my age. I think for many it’s a matter of preference. Some people like to run around and get of taste of many people (no pun intended whatsoever) before they settle; I’m quite content with enjoying that one person’s company for however long God gives me that privilege, and dealing with moving on if the privilege goes.
If this milestone were to merit me receiving an award, this is what my acceptance speech would sound like…
Firstly, I’d like to thank the Academy (lol!). I’d like to thank my partner, without whom none of this would be possible… instead maybe I’d be in bed… forget that thought.
I’d like to thank perseverance. There was many a time when we could have stopped trying to make it work. It was by no means the easiest relationship to start, or at points the easiest to sustain. But we both had something in common- we wanted it to work. And it did.
I’d like to thank trust. There were many a time when we were apart, at one time for many months, and anything could have gone on in that time apart. But we trusted each other and never had to worry. It helps a lot when there’s no need to worry.
I’d like to thank openness. My previous relationship ended when my ex said one of the dumbest things a partner could ever say (brace yourself)… “I didn’t know my life was any of your business!” I’m almost sure that’s verbatim. When in a relationship communication is key. People don’t always understand each other, and it’s through communication that perspectives are made clear. So to have someone know who is so keen to speak to me openly and honestly is refreshing. It’s also binding.
I’d like to thank support. From day one we had our ‘fans’. There were always friends cheering us on. And though it was not always possible to tell others about problems we’ve had now and again, it was always great to have someone to turn to to remind me that all would work out and in good time.
I’d like to thank wisdom. We aren’t all compatible, but it’s our duty to ourselves to make that assessment each time we’re considering a relationship. With my ex, I allowed friends to make that assessment for me, and in the end I suffered. But it taught me a lesson, and I got it dead right the next time. Every relationship has risks; they also all have lessons. With each risk, you take notes, and become wiser and wiser each day. I know I’m young, and I still have tonnes to learn.
If this milestone were to merit me receiving an award, this is what my acceptance speech would sound like…
Firstly, I’d like to thank the Academy (lol!). I’d like to thank my partner, without whom none of this would be possible… instead maybe I’d be in bed… forget that thought.
I’d like to thank perseverance. There was many a time when we could have stopped trying to make it work. It was by no means the easiest relationship to start, or at points the easiest to sustain. But we both had something in common- we wanted it to work. And it did.
I’d like to thank trust. There were many a time when we were apart, at one time for many months, and anything could have gone on in that time apart. But we trusted each other and never had to worry. It helps a lot when there’s no need to worry.
I’d like to thank openness. My previous relationship ended when my ex said one of the dumbest things a partner could ever say (brace yourself)… “I didn’t know my life was any of your business!” I’m almost sure that’s verbatim. When in a relationship communication is key. People don’t always understand each other, and it’s through communication that perspectives are made clear. So to have someone know who is so keen to speak to me openly and honestly is refreshing. It’s also binding.
I’d like to thank support. From day one we had our ‘fans’. There were always friends cheering us on. And though it was not always possible to tell others about problems we’ve had now and again, it was always great to have someone to turn to to remind me that all would work out and in good time.
I’d like to thank wisdom. We aren’t all compatible, but it’s our duty to ourselves to make that assessment each time we’re considering a relationship. With my ex, I allowed friends to make that assessment for me, and in the end I suffered. But it taught me a lesson, and I got it dead right the next time. Every relationship has risks; they also all have lessons. With each risk, you take notes, and become wiser and wiser each day. I know I’m young, and I still have tonnes to learn.
And finally, I’d like to thank commitment. It’s like I said earlier, you have to want to be in a relationship that long to actually do it. Thankfully we both wanted it, and so we both received it. To anything I forgot to thank, it’s 1 in the morning, don’t hold it against me.
Who knows, tomorrow it could all go away. I could do a 180 and become tired of her; she could move to Venus forever; I could suffer from E.D. and kill any chance at a future; she could become a lesbian and leave me for Ellen Degeneres… who knows? But like Black Americans like to say, ‘I’m just happy to be here.’ What the future holds is knowledge only God is privy to. I’m just happy to have gotten the opportunity to love and to be loved. Whatever happens, you can be sure I’ve learned a lot, and I’m being made a better person day by day because of it.
8 comments:
Here's to wishing both of you all the best (y). Nice to see a couple goin strong, a rare enough occurance.
Congrats Adri.
A long term relationship can be hard on both parties. But you're right you BOTH have to want to make it work. I'm impressed by the depth of your 'acceptance speech'. No doubt about it, you will grow to be a fine gentleman.
Kudos again
Yes, mi yute! Yu better dan me still.
Congrats man. Like the seeker said, you two are a rare occurance.
I've never met this person of whom you speak so fondly. Does she exist in reality or in your head?
Silly joke. Congrats man!! Clearly you are comfy and in a good place that you would celebrate 4.5 yrs together. Men don't usually think of the fractions of time. So it's interesting to see you mention .5. That's good. May God keep ya both for the long haul.
I'm specific with things involving relationships. Thanks all.
Hope it all works out (for her sake) ;D
4.5 years!! Thats commitment if I never knew what it meant before
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