Today's Toilet Tissue Tip

Make sure you're fed and your stomach is at rest before you read on...

We've all been there: It may be a public restroom- maybe at a fast food place, maybe a theatre, maybe even your workplace. It may even be in the comfort of your own home... It's time to let a load off, so you have a seat of the toilet, and let loose... But it's as if you've given a gift to the toilet, and it decided to give you one back- a nice, big, germ-infested splash unto your naked behind!

Disgusting, huh? But like I said, we've all been there. Well this happens to me no more, and I thought it would be selfish of me to not share my simple but well-kept secret.

If you're like me, you don't rest your rear directly on a public toilet seat. Instead, you roll of quite a bit of toilet paper and use it to line the seat. Well one day, some time ago, I realized this very toilet paper was also the best solution to the bouncing-liquid dilemma. It's simple... Roll off even more tissue, and drop it in the toilet before you start to unload your truck. That way, splashing is minimized, and if you're really good like me, it's eliminated!

Unfortunately, even I haven't perfected the art. You see, there's a delicate balance that has to be attained- too little tissue and you may not reduce the splashing at all; too much tissue and... well... splashing may be the least of your concerns! I've overcompensated on a number of occasions, and found myself trying to prevent a faecal flood! It's not a pleasant situation to be in. As far as I'm concerned, if I'm blocking a toilet it should be due to natural causes, not a man-made fault (though, if you think about it, the natural cause is also technically man made... Hmmm...).

Anyway, I thought I'd share. Aren't we all just two tired of having to disinfect our asses in disgust. I know I was!

And that's Today's Toilet Tissue Tip. Happy crapping!