The Post-Hired Bulge

Let-s begin with a few definitions:

"Pulling a Pluto" - being ousted from an established group.
"Pulling a Marion" - belated admissions of prior transgressions
"Pulling a Clinton" - ... well... you know...

I'll deal with those definitions later. So, I've gained approximately 35 pounds in 20 months. That's 1.75 pounds per month...

Hmmm... when I look at it on a per-month basis it doesn't seem so bad. One day's meals could add a pound! That said, if I keep gaining 1.75 pound each month I'll be at 240 pounds by December 2008... Rrrrrr...

One night a few months ago, I went to bed content, and the next morning I woke up with a belly. I was going through my own personal trimester overnight. The good thing is, I know who got me pregnant- WORK.

I was not the most physically active student, but I did play a few games now and again, and if nothing else, I walked. Hell, the walk from my dorm room to class was damn near 10 minutes. And I was always 2 minutes late in leaving my room, so I had to rush to class; that was some good exercise. However, now I work, and I work behind a laptop, and don't have to move for much of the day. I also drive- 'nuff said. Practically all my daily incidental exercise routines have been depleted, leaving me with this belly.

Whenever I go to the country for a weekend the old women in my church tell me, "You look think and nice now... and MUSCULAR!" Those infant killers! But what that tells me is that for some there are 3 body types - skinny, fat, and muscular. What they're effectively saying to me is that I'm a cookie short of being fat. Because frankly, there's hardly a muscle on me! I need to work out... and work off...

Now to the relevance of the definitions- my current dilemma is not a new one, and I think it's important enough to warrant its own definition, hence the following (Inside joke for some... Sorry):

Sudden and sharp increase in weight post-hiring - "Pulling a Seeker"!