Nature can be fought, but never beaten.
For years I've been told by friends of my family that I bear strong resemblance to my father. Every now and then, I'd be told the same about my mother, but only so often. I understood neither sentiment. I looked at them directly, I stared at pics, but nothing convinced me... I was a brand new image, in my eyes.
One day a black and white passport photo of my father slipped out of a book i was using. It was probably taken back in the 80s when my father was in his late 30s. I looked at the pic, and all I saw was me... the curves of the face, shape of the eyes... everything screamed my name. It was in that picture I realized that we both had the exact same uneven lips... in fact, it was because of the picture that I realized that my top lip wasn't exactly even on both sides.
And slowly everything else began to add up... I found myself starting to say the things he said, do the things he did, and unfortunately, sometimes I realized that I'd smell the way that he smells. It was scary- I was becoming my father.
I've watched different friends of mine at their homes, or on the road, and when I meet their parents I get a much greater appreciation for why they are the way they are. It's a gradual process, but it seems to happen to many of us- we become just as feisty, or stubborn, or intolerant, or arrogant, or organized, or ill-mannered as our parents. Now don't be mistaken- we don't 'inherit' all their traits, but many of the more dominant ones. And then one day we wake up and realize that we're on course to become the same kinds of parents to our children that our parents were to us, with minor modifications (assuming our parents set good examples to begin with). We end up being forced to make conscious changes to our way of thinking in order to not be the same parents that our parents were.
It's ironic- we spend a lot of out young years thinking "I wish my parents weren't like that." And somehow, many of us find ourselves falling into the same ways as them. Ultimately, we're never fully in control, are we?
2 comments:
You know what? I find myself wanting to have children (well, one child) so that I can be the same type of mother that my mother was.
This is after complaining my entire teenage years how she's the most old-fashion, not-with-it mother in the entire universe. I'll be the same mother with one minor modification. So, it's going to be limited tv, no nightclub during high school, involvement in her school activities. I'll be hated(until he/she wises up), but that's fine.
The one thing I should've mentioned too is how detrimental it is to be too much like our parents in some respects. The world changes alot between the time that our parents have us and when we become parents. As a result we have to adjust to the world around us...
Do you realize that your daughter could potentially want a cell phone at age 3?
Post a Comment