Smile A While...

Apparently I don't smile enough.

Human nature is to judge persons by their facial expressions. If he smiles a lot, then he's friendly. If she pouts a lot then she's miserable. If his nose twitches a lot then he's stuck up... And in my case, if I don't smile a lot, then I'm upset about something. I think I smile enough... but I'm not exactly coming from an unbiased angle.

For many years the main reaction to my facial expression has been that I'm very serious and unfriendly. I will admit, at first I don't have what one could call a 'pleasant' face... I keep a very straight face for most of the day. That straight face tends to be maintained until I'm smiling or laughing. It may even be maintained in a conversation. But it has never been a sign of disinterest or anger... it's just my face! I get asked by coworkers if I'm OK, because I look bothered... All I'm doing is staring at a computer screen, crunching numbers, or reading info... Should I look like I'm getting... serviced???

The one line I used to get so much for most of my life- "You know... before I started talking to you I didn't like you because you looked like you only spoke to certain kinds of people." The funny thing was, nobody could ever tell me what kind of person that was... everybody just played the victim all the time. But I seemed to graduate to that phase when I got to UWI... I figure that people just started internalizing the sentiment, because I know it's not that my face 'improved' on any level.

But you know, I don't apologize about it. Am I supposed to walk about grinning like an idiot? My cheek muscles hurt when I have to pose for a picture, much less to pose for a lifetime! So yeah, I look like I'm particularly serious... perhaps even upset... But hell, get over it! It's my face!