April 20, 2006

Just Friends?

Dear Friend,

It's been a while since we've talked. At first I thought it was your fault, but now I'm not sure. In any case, it's been too long. I'm not pleased about it, and I want it fixed.

If it is your fault, I want you to change. I don't want to be your consolation friend, the one you call when you run out of options. I don't want to be your convenience friend, the one you give the time of day only when we're too physically near for you to ignore me. I don't want to be your supplier, the friend you call when you need something.

I don't want to hear your life story secondhand. I don't want to stumble upon information about you by chance, information that you could have told me yourself. I don't want to be left in the dark. I don't want to have to nag you to be brought to light.

I'm not prepared to offer you anything less than that which I ask of you. And if I do give you less, I expect you to reprimand me just the same. I don't want to be misled- don't let me feel like I mean more to you than I actually am; I hope, at the same time that I'm not the one misleading myself. I want us to have something which surpasses the everyday yeah-I-know-him friendship. You mean more to me than that. But if I require too much of you, let me know.

I'll admit. I am looking for more than just a friend. I'm looking for someone who I can turn to whenever I need to, and someone who can and will turn to me. Maybe it's the purpose of my existence, or maybe just what I want my purpose to be. I don't want to end my life feeling like I knew everyone, but no one at the same time. Are you my purpose for living? Let me know.

Love,
bC

6 comments:

laroper18 said...

I wouldn't go as far as to say I am your purpose for living, but I am your friend...unless you know something I don't :-P

bassChocolate said...

Drats! That's a shame, Le :D

Rae said...

I know this letter isn't addressed to me ;) because the word 'just' does not exist before our friendship. But I wanted to say how much I love that you care about ur friends this way, because I do too, and it's comforting to know I'm not a freak. :P

The Seeker said...

O k, not say what Adrian was saying above was feakish, but as a rule Rea, Finding a fellow freak does not making you any less freaky... just thought I should point that out :D

bassChocolate said...

My yute, learn how to put sentences together.

Anonymous said...

Whosoever this is directed to Bass, it is well said. Hmmm, I know someone I can send this same letter to without even changing a word. Hey, maybe you should apply to Caribbean Greetings, Hallmark, American Greeting Card for a writer position for the 'feelings' cards. :) Hope it works out.