Seeing Stars

There's no denying it- if I'm gonna be with a lady, I have to be able to look at her each day and like what I see. I don't think that makes me judgmental, or even picky, just smart. I'm not like the guys that think that as long as the woman has a... you know what... then she's satisfied all the requirements. I love to be able to look at her and smile... and be mesmerized... every single day.

That by no means implies that only Playboy bunnies and supermodels fulfil my requirements. What it means is that, however she looks, I must be happy with what I have, and that generally means she has to look good, at least to some degree.

I've been lucky (and I do mean lucky) in my time to have a few very attractive girlfriends, none better than the one I have now (maybe I'm biased, but that's not a bad way to be biased). Ironically, it's the ones that I haven't managed to 'make mine' that bring humour to my life. Because when I look back at some of the girls I thought were hotter than Angela Bassett (who I must say is one of the most beautiful black women on earth), I have to wonder if I had hit my head on a rock and was seeing stars!

Case in point- for a period of about 2 years I had a major crush on a classmate of mine in high school (those were the days when a girl wouldn't even look at me). The crush ended at about the time when she told me off good and proper for lamenting her 'cheap' behaviour (very long story). I remember in 3rd form when I had a big debate with my then best friend Andre, regarding whether or not that girl was better looking than one which he liked. We went as far as to do a survey among other classmates- I lost by one vote. I couldn't understand how the class could have voted like that. As far as I was concerned, Andre's girl didn't come close to mine!

A year after high school I ran into my past crush at a graduation. We greeted cheerfully, and chatted away for about 5 minutes. The whole time we spoke I was looking at her and pondering, "What the HELL was I thinking 3 years ago? Thank my lucky starts that she didn't like me back!" It's a cruel thought, I know, but I just couldn't fathom what was occurring in my head years before, and which rods or cones in my eyes were knocked out of place for that period in which I thought she was the best thing since sliced bread.

Sadly, it wasn't the first time, nor was it the last, that I became so delusional. I had an even bigger crush on a close friend that lasted just as long. Once again, I'm counting my lucky stars.

Sometimes I wonder if as a married man, I'm gonna wake up one morning, look at my wife, and wonder what the hell I was thinking when I bought the ring. But I think that period of my life has come and gone. More than likely infatuation was my problem at the time. When that happens to you, even Missy Elliott can look like Halle Berry, without the aid of strong alcoholic beverages.

Ironically, I suppose the real moral of this story is that, even though you will want a partner who's pleasing to the eye, you should really like/love your partner for the right reasons, the inner beauty. Then, the physical attributes aren't as important as we tend to make them. Then, when you wake up in the morning and see the one you love, you'll know exactly why you bought the ring.