PAW, Part II

In People Are Weird (PAW), I spoke of a very good friend who kinda ditched me when the circumstances of his life changed. It was almost a year since I really spoke to him. Today, he added me as a messenger contact.

I don't know if at many points in my life my mood had done a 180 qite like this one. I wasn't up to dealing with him. He proceeded to say hello, and give me a little background on what he's up to. For about 5-10 minutes I sat and watched his words pop up on the screen without making any response. Finally I got myself to say, "Maybe I'll figure out what to say next time." Somehow he managed to get me responding by asking questions I wasn't so averse to answering. We didn't get into how things fell apart, mainly because I didn't want to. He did apologise for everything, and I said 'OK'.

My words from the PAW are, "Were it not for the fact that I've come to terms with the fact that people are weird, I might not have taken it so well." It's amazing to me that, all these emotions of anger and hurt came rushing back to me the second I saw his name on the computer screen. I became angry again, in fact more like furious. I wanted to scream at his, yet I didn't wanna say a word. Rae points out to me that the fact that I'm this upset goes to show how much I still value his friendship. She's very right. I suppose that's why it hurts so much. Additionally, there was never any real closure.

A part of me knew this day would come eventually. I wasn't ready for it. I don't feel like talking anymore. Take care of the people who mean something to you.