This is something I say now again. Friends of mine, I love you, but you're all weird...
O.K., let me get serious. I learned the hard way just before I got to UWI a truth that I now accept: people are weird; friends become enemies, or not-so-good-friends, or traitors, many times for no valid reason. It's ironic that I try so hard to make some friends close friends, but it's just because I've become a lot wiser. The reality of life is that people change, not necessarily for any specific reason, and the victims of that change are usually the people close to them. That's something I've experiecned on too many occasions.
As a consequence, despite the fact that I remain close to the people around me, I never lose sight of that fact that at any moment this person I love and respect and trust so much could drop me like a pointless UWI course.
Case in point: a friend of about 8 or 9 years. He was one of my five closest friends. Our personalities were so different and yet so similar in some fundamental ways. We understood each other very well. If I were to have gotten married last year he would have probably been my best man. But when his reality changed (became a father at age 20) so did his need to stay in touch. We spoke after he had his child, and he was annoyed at how so many of his friends ask other people how he is rather than just calling him. He credited me as one of only two of his friends who made a consistent effort to stay in touch. You'd figure that that would mean something, wouldn't you? Well, if it really meant something to him, he would have stayed in touch after he'd been forced to change his number, and when he'd gotten his first job, and when he left the country to live with his girlfriend and their child in her homeland. All these things I found out about third-hand. Maybe it didn't mean so much to him afterall.
It angers me somewhat when I think about it; as I said, we were mighty close. Were it not for the fact that I've come to terms with the fact that people are weird, I might not have taken it so well.
I'm sure if you think about it yourself, you've probably lost many a good friend along the way, frequently for no reason at all. I suppose, as in the case above, people change when their world changes- it's not an excuse, but an explanation. Other people are just... well... not the good people you thought they were. That's just the way the cookie crumbles.
Moral: have your friends, treat them well, even trust them as much as you can, but understand that people change, whatever the reason be. Sadly, friends come and go.
But if you're reading this, you're a positive exception :D
5 comments:
I too have had the unfortunate experience of some of my closest friends simply drifting away. The sad thing is many times it does not take a body of water to separate u but a difference in faculty. What i've realised is that certain ppl are placed in our life at a specific points in our life and i guess they can fall out just as easily.
I feel your pain dude, all too well. There are quite a few people I have been very close to in the past, and now barely talk despite my best efforts. Ive come to the conclusion that some people walk into your life for a specific purpose, and once that purpose has been fulfilled that person will somehow walk back out of your life, and try as you might there is nothing you can do about it. Sad, very sad, but a so it go.
And youre right, people are weird. I just might blog about my own experiences of people's weirdness.
What D said.
Adricey, reading your words were like reading my own. I get so helplessly attached to my friends that I inevitably set myself up for serious falls if they do in fact 'drop me like a pointless UWI course'. When I see one drifting I try so hard to stay close (even if is me one a fight for di friendship) that others will tell me they think I'm being downright stupid for holding on so long. But you're so right - your 'moral' is pretty much mine as well and I've learnt to losen my grip.
I think most people experience similar situations. People change, and grow apart. Just how life is. Only thing to do: accept it. Just remeber they were there and made your life somewhat better.
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