My Life In A Few Lines

Hi. I figured the best way to begin my blogging life (sounds like an expletive, doesn't it?) is to talk in few lines about who I am...

I'm 21, though I feel like I live the life of a 41 year-old... I live every day with a sense of responsibility as if I'm being watched by some hi-tech satellite orbiting in space, and scrutinized by the secret agents that watch the video feed from the comfort of their lounge chairs in some lab hidden in the California desert.

Maybe that all comes from the fact that, back in Brown's Town, the name 'Bailey' generally referred to the best Math teacher in that part of the country and his teacher wife. I'm convinced my father taught half of Jamaica math, and my mother didn't do too badly either... between them both, they knew so many people. They'd probably hear if I blew my nose while walking home from school, approximately 0.3621 miles and 10 minutes from the school gate. News got to them before I got home. How could I even think about doing anything crazy, adventurous, or even worse- WRONG! Not a chance. And so my life has continued ever since. I don't party, smoke, drink, sleep around, do drugs, cheat on women... never have at any point in my life. Everybody expects great things of the bright boy that the teachers admired, head boy, on every possible academic team, top-of-the-class soon-to-be-millionaire.

The immediate thought, I'd assume, would have to be "what a boring bloke!" To some extend, I suppose that's a fair assumption. I went through alot of my life feeling that way as well. So I had to devise ways to become a little less boring, without committing any of the 'cardinal sins' I listed above. Not many things came to mind, but I did, by the time I got to Com. C., break out of my shell. I stopped being as quiet, I perfected my sarcastic abilities, improved my sense of humour and my ability to joke about things I'd previously never say, much less do. In essence, all I really changed was my ability to interact with people. And though simple, it really did change my life. People stopped seeing me as stuck-up, but simply as being quiet and shy, until I could find a common ground with them. Friends started looking to me for advice, or company, or just a shoulder. All of a sudden, I was a prime bachelor :-) I developed a cluster of friends and I was the ring leader, the delegate, the centre post of the Maypole. It's a role I've come to accept and appreciate, not because it makes me important, but because there's nothing I value more than being there for people, for friends.

The amazing thing is that, in my 4-year tenure at UWI, I've reverted to alot of what I used to be in high school... to some extent anyway. I've become more private once again, maybe because I've held everybody to the standards of my friends from Com. C. who I love dearly. And there have been few places that I've found friends like them again... pan probably comes closest. But my life has lost a few dimensions- now it's simply school, g/f, pan, and a few friends. I figure that things will change drastically in a few weeks, when I depart this dreadful institution.

But you would think, that after 6 years of leaving high school my life would become more of my own... you would think. How shocked I was when I went to my past teacher and family friend's funeral, only to run into my old vice principal who gives me a hug and says "I hear you're with a nice-looking browning (big grin)." My jaw dropped. I guess I should have expected it, the fact that I've been with my girlfriend for almost 4.5 years is reason enough. But I'd hardly expect my personal life to be the topic of staffroom conversation. When will my life ever be my own? Will I ever get to that point that I'm allowed to be me without that damn hi-tech satellite? But you know, who gives a damn. I'm still boring me, not planning to do anything out of the ordinary anytime soon, soon to be in charge of my own life, hopefully. So the satellite can orbit until my nostrils get blocked with hair. I'll still be me. And I love the person I am.

You may have noticed by now that I'm incapable of saying anything in only a few lines. And I really haven't started to talk about my life yet. Maybe I never will. But maybe...