The Power of Words

Back when I was in fourth form, I represented my school as part of a team in some academic quiz. I don't remember what type of quiz it was, because I'd gone on many- Math, Science, of course Schools' Challenge- it was years before I realized how much of a geek I was...

I digress. My teamates and I turned up at the quiz location, and as we waited outside, my attention was caught by this girl from another school. To some extent I still remember her face... She was very attractive, and I figured I should try and get a few words in before the opportunity expired.

I went up to her (my classmate and close friend came with me for moral support), said hi, and continued with the pleasantries. She told me that she had a brother who went to my school and was in my year. "Really? Who?" She tells me his name, and I jump up and down inside... He was a 'friend' of mine and we were in Technical Drawing class together. "Perfect," I thought, "Common ground! We have something to talk about!" I pounced on the opening, and said, in jest of course, "How does a nice girl like you end up with a wutliss brother like him?" And just like that, my open door slammed shut.

Her face quickly turned a hellish colour, and the amicable expression vanished. "I'm going to walk away before I use any derogatory words," she said, and stormed off. I have admitted in previous posts that my vocabulary has never been top-notch, but it is with some amount of shame that I admit that I had no clue at the time what 'derogatory' meant. But I didn't need Webster to that it wasn't good! I quickly tried to apologize and reconcile (the stupid little horny adolescent I was), and I tried to convince her that it was a joke, that her brother and I were friends, and that I meant nothing by it. She wouldn't have it. I was dead to her. That was the last time we spoke.

I learned a valuablle lesson that day... Actually I learned two valuable lessons- the first is that 'derogatory' means 'disparaging, belittling, intentionally offensive'. The second and more valuable lesson is that one has to be very careful what he says to someone who he doesn't know. We sometimes think of it as 'playing the hypocrite', but it really is a necessary evil, because it's amazingly easy to misinterpret the simple words of a stranger. Yesterday I watched a coworker of mine get scolded by a woman who completely misinterpret his sense of humour as being poor tone and being 'victimizing'. He was simply asking her if she knew someone. It was bizarre.

I haven't had too many similar incidents since my my fourth form rejected. That is, however, partly due to the fact that I don't care as much how people react to me being me. But it would be a shame to pass up on the opportunity to get to know good people because I was too caught up being myself. That said, you can't win them all, can you?