Opportunity Costs

When I first became permanently employed, I was entered into a training program which had me moving from department to department within the company. While the program was poorly organized, my training experience would easily have been better had people made more time for me. But in the same way that many of us have the preset "I don't have anything, you know" line for beggers on the street, it seemed at the time that there was a preset line for trainees- "I don't have any time right now, you know." For hours and days I sat unproductive because the person who was to be training me had 'no time'.

At times I was naive enough to believe some persons when they fed me that line. But over time I came to realize how ridiculous that is. I see how much time is wasted, how many valuable minutes are spent in conversation about American Idol, or checking out whichever website women check for perfume and shoes, or talking about the football game that they may or may not have played in. Time isn't as short as they made it seem- they just didn't use it properly.

And then when they decided to work, they were looking out for themselves. Helping a trainee doesn't benefit them. In fact, that trainee could take their job one day!

This attitude is not workplace-specific. It's how we think, it's how we operate, it's how we treat each other in general. Think about the many friends you have who you haven't even said 'hi' to in the past few days, or weeks, or months. Why haven't you? Popular answers- no contact number, no credit... and the most popular one- no time. I have friends who are buried in work, but they are in a tiny minority. The reality is, many of us hide behind our responsibilities and use them as excuses for unavailability. So, without the intervention of some Instant Messenger program or some common social event, little or no effort is made to stay in touch.

It's a shame. Sending a text to say 'hi' costs no more than $4. Having a quick 'how are you?' call can cost you a tenth of the cost of that last burger meal you bought. But the reality is, sometimes we make friendship into exactly that- a cost, an expense, something that's good to have but too much to maintain.

I've seen many a good friendship go down the drain. I've seen even more moderate friendships fade as if they never existed. I've been in a couple myself. After years of being frustrated about being the only one trying to maintain my friendships, I stopped doing it. But then I realized that I'm not as stingy as to pass on a $4 message. I can do better, and I will. And if a friend is willing as I am to lose that $4 for me, overtime we'll be sure to lose a lot more to each other, yet gain even more.

Make that your resolution.