The Armpit Connection

I've always distinguished some things as being inherently manly. I think everybody does. That's why women's perfume can generally be distinguished from men's cologne. And your neighbours twins wear pink and blue- pink for the girl, blue for the boy. In the same way, I absolute hate seeing women smoke (though I'm not a fan of smokers generally), I think men who wear earrings have no right to criticize men in tight pants, and I think of hairy arms, legs and armpits as attributes of a man. I'm not a big fan of hairy women, and often ask myself 'why can't she shave?' Truth be told, maybe she doesn't see it as a problem like I do.

Like I said, for me, armpit hair is a man's thing. However, while I would never shave my legs clean, I'm not particularly attached to armpit hair. At the same time, however, I pay it very little attention, so while I haven't rushed to shave it off, I don't stare at it with pride. It just grows, and I let it. At the same time, I don't have a forest under my arms, and the day it starts sticking out of my shirts, I'll definitely deal with it... OK, I'd deal with it before that.

As luck would have it, I may have to deal with it even sooner. I was forced to visit the doctor today after a few weeks of irritation in my underarms. My male doctor informed me that I may have an infection of the hair follicle, and started writing me a prescription... Then came a very unexpected scolding: "And for God's sake, young man, shave your armpits!" I laughed, and then engaged him in discussion about it. He explained to me that he found underarm hair to be quite unsightly, and that his girlfriend is repulsed by it. "Doesn't your girlfriend have an issue with it," he asked me. "Not at all," I answered. In fact, I think just as I would say "My woman mus' have hair pan har head", she would say "My man mus' have har unda him arm!"

Then I began to wonder, am I in the minority? I've never had an underarm hair conversation before so I really don't know where people stand on it. Is his girlfriend a part of a greater alliance of anti-armpit-hair females? I wonder.

According to my doctor, shaving my hair should reduce the chances of recurring infection. I'm not sure if he's just saying so as a part of his efforts to rid the world of armpit hair, but I paid $700 to listen to him, so I might at well... So now my hair may go... and suddenly, I don't want it to...