I don't usually post to solicit opinions... I've made this exception because it's an issue I've been trying to wrap my head around for years.
I more than most am willing to admit that there's not necessarily ONE person in the world with whom I'm ment to share my life. Let's be realistic- six billion people- how much would we suck if of that number we couldn't find a second person with whom we were profoundly compatible?
That said, chances are that in your lifetime you will come across more than one person who has serious interest in you. Whether you're opening 'taken' or not, people will be interested in you. In fact, as Seeker likes to remind me, when one gets married his market value actually goes up! Anyway, while there may be a wave of interest in you, it's also possible (and highly probable) that the sentiment won't be mutual with most of these persons.
These persons aren't restricted to a particular status relative to you. Many times they are absolute strangers. Sometimes they are friends of friends. And at other times they are very much friends of your.
Now here's the scenario- for simplicity, if you are a female, change sex for a few minutes... You have a steady girlfriend, with whom you share a strong, trusting relationship. She has a friend with whom she relates very well. One day, this friend confesses to her that he has feelings that go deeper than a friendship. He doesn't want to try and steal her away (or so he says, I guess), but still felt the need to let his feelings known, perhaps for the sake of closure, or perhaps just to see how she'd react.
Your girlfriend informs you of the situation with her friend. How do you react... In fact, how SHOULD you react?
a) tell her she needs to back away from him altogether;
b) tell her she should create a little distance between them without cutting ties; or
c) laugh and say, "Ah well... rough on him."?
I'll leave all further comments to another post.Make any assumptions you wish.
7 comments:
Tell her to end that friendhsip pronto.It is goingot be difficult for her to share intimte stuff with him without thinking that he is simply listening to the squish in her thighs when she walk away. Furthe can you really handle it, s'pose she call to say that they are going on a lunch date, but when you call just to say hi, her phoneis trun off and she doesn't return to the office until 3:30? Hmmm?
It depends on personalities, situation, returned emotions, strenght of friendship, etc. There is no hard and fast rule where it applies to these sticky situation. One can just hope and pray that they make the right decisions.
For simplicity, since given only 3 options, I'd go with b. That answer however is not easy to do. I mean, 'creating distance' is relative, and what is distance for her may not satisfy me. But I'd tell her to, at the very least, be careful, and guard her feelings if she values our relationship and doesn't wish it to change.
Anonymous above can kiss my a$$!!
Anyway, I go with c) which may be interpreted as the heights of arrogance but I believe that if we are in a relationship and I'm treating her right and we both claim to be satisfied then I need not worry. In fact I won't. If she gonna go then I didn't have her in the first place.
There is always gonna be competition but you gotta be confident that you'll prevail and make sure you show her why she chose you!
Of course all that goes out the window if she wants you to be jealous and fight for her........
I think I'd go with c. This is just because I can't really tell her what to do. I can tell her how I feel and hope she takes that into consideration but that's about it. If anything happens between them though, it would be over soooo fast!
I'll go with C
Hmmmm, a tough one. I've been the female in that situation.
Well, just have to trust, I definitley wouldn't recommend telling her to back off. She might be offended that you think she can't 'manage' that situation. I'd do nothing because there's always going to be someone after whosoever you're seeing. I can understand that it might be a little troubling for you but you'll have to trust her ability to handle that.
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