Girls Dem Sugar

I’ve had 2 really close male friends in my past 12 years on earth. One of them is no longer friends with me (call him ‘RTS’), and the other one (‘APM’) still is, but we’re nowhere near as close as we used to be (victims of circumstances).

I’ve had about 5 really close female friends in that same time, and a number of others with which I’ve held strong relationships. At present, another one is brewing… no matter what, there are always one or two female friends that I’m close enough to (though the names tend to change more frequently than I’d like).

It’s never been clear to me why that has been the case. It’s just always been that way. I’d see guys with their crews, their boys, their dawgs, their niggas (it’s interesting that they all mean the same thing), and wonder why it is that I hardly ever forged such bonds with a group of guys.

I was in one crew in high school… The group informally known as the KAROLA crew (each letter was a first initial to a crew member’s name) was a group of guys who generally shared the same interests… in high school terms, that means we were brighter than most. Looking back at things, you would expect the crew to be hated, and by some we were. But the truth is, we were progressive people who liked hanging with progressive people. There’s nothing wrong with that. We weren’t a glasses-wearing, short pants, high-pitched voice set of people. We were regular guys, who spoke to everyone else without a problem. In addition, the reality is that as much as we called ourselves a ‘crew’, we were close only to a point. APM was a part of that crew.

Then at Com C there was A2Z, a very, very close-knit group of friends. Of course, the knitting has loosened now that 4 are in the US, 1 in Bermuda (RTS) 1 is working in Kingston (me), one in St. Ann, and one guy is still studying at UWI. But in that group, there were only 3 guys- UWI guy, RTS, and yours truly.

UWI was uneventful until pan. And even then the bonds I forged are in general far stronger with the girls than with the guys (also contributing to that is the fact that pan has what, 3 guys?).

I realized that I was never the computers/cars/guns-and-action guy that most guys my age tended to be. So maybe that was a contributing factor to the lack of close male friends. Maybe that’s why in school I hung out with the scholars- not because I wanted to look bright, but because I shared more in common with them. But now I’ve chosen to explore the issue from another angle- why do women like getting close to me?

In high school I had a girl-friend, FC (I hope you’re keeping up), who had a thing for APM, another friend (the ‘R’ in KAROLA), and me. I kinda liked her (a little), as did APM but to an even lesser extent, but R was wild about her. She eventually chose me over R, even though I really wasn’t interested in her that much. When APM asked her why she chose me, she said because, “He understands my feelings.” I’m sure to this day that if I bring it up APM and I will start rolling with laughter. And if you heard the delicate voice that released those words, you’d be even more amused.

But you know, maybe FC was unto something. Is that it? Ladies, do I understand your feelings? HAHA!