Changes

I wrote my first blogger post back in April of last year. Never, in the time I’ve been posting, have I taken so long to write a new post… welcome, changes.

I knew that my life was gonna be shaken up a bit as July came to a close. I was looking forward to the changes. I can safely say that very few of the changes have turned out at well as I thought.

PART 1

I suppose one could say that I’m officially on my own now. It took 7 months, but I finally moved out of the W’s place… and I really have to thank them for putting me up for all that time. They really got me out of a bind when I got my new job, and had nowhere to live. That said, so much of me wishes I could go back to them now. Life in my new home (self-contained bed and bath, semi-shared kitchen… continue reading) has been... rocky… for want of being mild. Outside of the fact that I’m generally deprived of some basic things… my own fridge, stove, etc (which, by the way, are things I only have access to during certain hours of the day), my room/bathroom also lack one very important component- running water. Of course, my wonderful landlady was ‘shocked’ when I revealed to her that I wasn’t getting water in my pipes (oh… and by the way, the rest of the house has water). The really mind-boggling part about it is, didn’t the previous tenant have the same problem??? And trust me, someone lived here immediately previous to me. Something doesn’t add up. But anyway, as I’ve found, talking about my new home makes me a bit more bitter than I can manage, so let’s move on…

Screw it… let’s talk some more. So I return from home (St. Ann) on Monday, and as I approach my room door, I see two chairs well placed in front of my door. You see, my door is in an area where the family (offspring) and their many, many visiting friends like to congregate, sit around, chat, smoke. Apparently nobody’s gotten the memo that someone lives beyond the little white door and as such, a few seating adjustments need to be made. Oh, there was a dirty shoe in front of my door too…

Yesterday I returned from work to find various articles of garbage right at the foot of the door. Obviously the landlady and I need to have a chat again. Seeker can tell you, from the way Miss Landlady was going on when I was first considering the place, you’d think she’s a stickler for neatness and order. Apparently, those rules don’t apply to her own children… I could go on about this forever…

The one perk in all this, however, is that I now live very, very, very, very, very close to my other half… very.

PART 2

My company’s formed a new department. Perhaps they should call it the We-Don’t-Have-Anywhere-Else-To-Put-These-People Department, but instead they called it something more refined. Details may cost me my job, so let’s leave that there. Despite the fact that the new department officially came into existence at the beginning of the month, I must first suffer for a month in Customer Service in order to complete my departmental training. I like people. I can talk to people. I can rap with conversationalists. I can smile with the cheery. I can handle bitches. But what I can’t take is feeling inadequate, and feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing. That, ultimately is my problem with customer service. Ever since I began working at my company it seems like everybody’s philosophy for my life is ‘Throw Him Out! Let Him Swim!’ I didn’t learn to swim until I was about 14, and if you put me out in 10-foot-deep water now, I still freak. But hey, swimming on the job isn’t that bad, right??? Well yes, it isn’t bad, NORMALLY, but when you’re sitting in front of a hot, miserable customer who knows that the last 4 years he’s come in to do the same transaction it’s taken him a third of the time it’s taking him this time, you don’t feel so great about the swimming idea. Where’s that damn ‘Trainee’ badge when you need it?

So I’ve already completed 1.5 weeks of my Customer Service tenure. However, until Tuesday, I was in a seat behind a corner where I could hide if I wanted to. As of yesterday, as soon as a customer steps in, they stare right into my terrified eyes. “Damnit! More predators! Where’s a public holiday when you need it?” I suppose day 1 wasn’t the worse though. I did have one young lady in front of me for almost an hour, but I can blame her for that with little conscience.

The other change as it relates to work is that I now must take two buses to work in the morning… my poor salary cries with me. Added to that, my route to work is difficult to travel. The buses are absolutely crowded before and after work, despite schools being out. I hate that part of it. The up side is I save some money now that I no longer charter taxis from my girlfriend’s place at nights because I now live very, very, very, very, very close to her… very.

PART 3

I haven’t really had internet access at home for maybe 3 months now, obviously carrying over from when I lived with the W’s. I had cable before I moved, even though I didn’t watch it a lot… B can tell you how little time I spent at home. That made it hard to find time for cable anyway. But how I wish I had a bit of cable when I get home now, so I could chill with my TV. Or some net access, so I could post more frequently and surf like B does… then again, maybe not quite as much as B does. I digress. Before my (temporary) move to Customer Service, things were as such that I could squeeze in a bit of internet time here and there. But now all those privileges have been stripped- no time for surfing. And I’m not one to turn up early for work or to stay late just to surf. So now, I only surf in my sleep. Consequently, my life’s gotten a little dull.

Pan doesn’t help one hoot. In fact, pan in recent months has complicated my life much more than I’d planned. It’s ironic that a few months ago I was faced with 2 choices- leave the band or get additional responsibilities. The former nearly prevailed. Nearly. But almost doesn’t count. The stress that my decision now puts on me is to balance my already non-existent free time so that I can study for an exam I’ll be writing in November. Something’s gotta give, and soon. I’ve been so frustrated with the lack of flexibility in my schedule that ultimately, there’s little I do that I enjoy now. Everything, pan included, has become a job rather than a hobby/pastime/fun activity. When your life gets to that stage, something’s gotta give. The question is, what?

I really didn’t expect my life to become quite as complicated as it has. The changes have officially commenced, and they won’t be over for a while. Whatever happens, I need to get away from it all, somehow.