Bachelorette vs. Free Credit

Disclaimer: Dammit, I don't do disclaimers.

Did you miss it? Hush. Your loss. The addictive CVM-aired bmobile Singles ended its successful first season recently with the lady of the night (no, she’s not a hooker) selecting her Prince Charming.

The show, which bore stark resemblance to the U.S.-born The Bachelorette T.V. show, chronicled the activities of 26 young Jamaican (gentle)men, all vying for a big cash prize, jewelery and Caribbean trip and, of course, the chance to have more one-on-one time with the Bachelorette.

So who’s that lady? 22-year-old Theresa, now a student in the United States. “The United States”, you ask? We’ll get back to that in a minute. Throughout the duration of the season, the men got chances to have private dates (never mind the fact that a whole production crew looked on), and also had group gatherings with lovely Theresa.

The first round of dates were pathetic. Most of the guys had little imagination and were either a bore, or simply repulsive. As guys were eliminated and the stakes got higher, the quality of the dates dramatically improved. Lucky Theresa was scuba diving (and finding gifts under the sea), dancing to oldies, having the piano played to her, among other things, most of which she was impressed by... In particular, she loved the scuba diving, especially after receiving her seemingly expensive gift.

In the end, 26 became 3, and Theresa (who before this point was having her beaus eliminated by a captivated Jamaican TV audience) selected PR Coordinator Douglas (Mr. Scuba) as her bachelor of choice.

The show was made particularly interesting by the array of Jamaican men they chose. Now Theresa is quite obviously an uptown, very well off (rich) girl from a very well off (rich) family. The guys on the other hand, were an interesting mix, from the high school graduate to the UWI masters student, though the group contained a fairly large proportion of the common Jamaican man. Theresa claimed to be down to earth (which gave them all a chance), but also declared that she’s high maintenance (whoops, ‘bout 20 a dem gone now!). Adding this to the fact that some of these guys couldn’t even speak well, they didn’t stand a chance.

I liked the mix of bachelors. It added a sense of reality to the show. I wasn’t particularly fond of the fact that the bachelorette was an uptown girl, but that’s just the bias of a country man. HOWEVER, I despised the fact that the powers that be selected a lady who isn’t even based in the country! Even worse, apparently bmobile had to sponsor Theresa round trip tickets EVERY WEEK for the duration of the show so that she could be on it! How ridiculous! Are you trying to tell me that they couldn’t find ONE halfway-good-looking home-based Jamaican girl to be the Bachelorette??? “She better be worth it,” you’re thinking, right? Not so… I’ve seen better-looking girls on Most Wanted posters!... OK fine, she isn’t THAT bad. Honestly, she isn’t unattractive. Most men will find her somewhat attractive. But there are MANY better-looking girls in our country. I didn’t see the need to import her.

Other unwelcome additions to the uptown crew were the two hosts. I’ve heard them referred to as ‘tall and handsome.’ While that’s perhaps true, that didn’t help them to become impressive hosts. The names- Kibwe and Knut- which sound to me like African and German biscuits. Jamaican men don’t get as un-Jamaican as these two. Once again, I’m not saying that being uptown is wrong; however, for a show with real Jamaican people, they should have real Jamaican hosts… or at least come closer to the typical eloquent Jamaican man.

My opinion (as if I haven’t been giving it already)- great show, good characters for the most part. I’d watch it again without hesitation, and am looking forward to coming seasons. But next time, bmobile should save that ticket money and give me free calls.