I Now Pronounce You...

Marriage is such a tricky thing for me- not so much in general terms, but more as it relates to my life specifically. As long as I continue to study, my life will be a very difficult balancing act (not that the act doesn't continue beyond study years). And one of the questions I've struggled with for a while is, when is the right time for marriage?

Yes, I'm only 21 (well, for another few days at least), and yes there's a lot of time ahead of me, yada yada yada. But forward thinking is never a bad thing. All I can remember is listening to an actuary talking at the Career Expo at UWI, and saying, "You might want to hold off on family plans for a while." And I thought to myself, "You've got to be kidding me!"

Anyone that knows me well enough knows that I'm a family-oriented person. And for me, family isn't necessarily restricted to parents and siblings; there's also girlfriend, close friends, in other words people that closely impact my life. I've always had this feeling that I have to stay close to everyone. I'm afraid to let go, to lose touch, to be out of contact range. It's a fear that's dangerous, because it can potentially limit my flexibility in the long run as it relates to employment and traveling. But at the same time, I always tell myself that the pursuit of happiness and wealth goes beyond higher education and flashy jobs and plenty money. Wealth and true happiness happens when you're at peace with you and your life- ALL departments of your life. And for me, family life is a big chunk of it all.

I don't wanna wait until I'm 30 to get married. In fact, all being well I would go down the aisle well before that. But at what cost? What timing will make the difference between living lavishly (enough), as opposed to teaching basic school children in my backyard? When is the right time? Is there one?

Sometimes I try to tell myself that time will figure it out, but that inquisitive portion of me refuses to forget about it. It's strange, because for many people the story is the reverse, "How long can I put off marriage and still find someone when I'm ready?" Not me. Family life's too important to me. And though it comes with its many headaches and responsibilities, marriage to me is the cornerstone of true manhood- the ability to grab the bull by the horns and take care of your own. I always admire good fathers and good husbands, and apparently I'm also in a rush to be one.

Still, I have to give myself a firm footing education-wise so that I'll actually be able to 'take care' of my own. In a sense, that's the all-important first step.

Like all else, time will tell.