I'm a firm believer in doing things that satisfy the soul. In particular, one needs to have a job/career that he really loves and wants to do. Otherwise, he won't be happy.
I'm still not sure what I wanna be doing with my life. I'm doing a degree that has caused me so much stress and pain (literally) that I don't know if I'll have anything left in me when I finally get that degree. The drive I feel for much lesser things in my life I have yet to feel for any topic I've studied at UWI (Fyi- I've done at least one course for Bio, Chem, Math, Management, Econ, Com Sci, Sociology at UWI) . Math was always my favourite, but UWI is killing it for me. It's become such a sore point.
So every now and then I wonder what would have happened if I'd pursued one of my passions... I'm thoroughly obsessed with planes. I don't mean I research aircraft models and sizes and that stuff, but there's nothing I love more than seeing a plane in the air. I'm sure I'd have loved aviation. I don't need to fly; I'd even love to be in a control tower, as long as I'm seeing planes. Unfortunately, the course of my life never took me down that road. And I think maybe the fear of changing my mind AGAIN about my career goals has kept me from seriously considering doing so. So I continue to watch them in the air, and wonder...
Then there's passion #2- CRICKET! The greatest sport in the world. I've loved cricket since my time in the womb. It wasnt until some time in high school that I really got a chance to play some serious cricket. I wanted to join the school team but I really didn't have the time (or maybe I was just too lazy). But for 3 summers I participated in Kaiser's summer cricket programme. The first time I did it I was 10, I think. I went in with 80% cricket knowledge, 20% application. So I was somewhat of a none-factor my first time. Somewhere before my second time I started learning to bowl. So in my second year I bowled... I threw too... but for the most part I bowled, and to good effect. I even made it into the all star team (albeit as 12th man). Two years later I was back again for my final run. I was a full-term bowler by then, and I captained my team to an unbeaten season (my first 2 seasons the teams I was on never won a single match). I not only made the all-star team, I captained it. And our star batsman was a fellow we called Coin. He was the youngest and shortest team member, but by a distance the best batsman.
Anyway, after that summer, I hardly ever played any real cricket again and my bowling dried up as a result. I always wanted to continue playing, but lazy me never could balance school and cricket. 8 years later I watch the struggling W.I. team, as I always have. Lately, they introduced a new young player to the team, Xavier 'Coin' Marshall. It's a small world. So now Coin has left me to wonder what would have happened if I'd stuck with playing, trained and developed my bowling. Maybe I would have been the W.I.'s new bowling sensation. I guess we'll never know.
Instead, I'm the dude doing math, who doesn't know where he's going.
6 comments:
Adrian,
I appreciate your musings about the alternate paths you could have taken. Besides, I'm a cricket fan myself. I'd be happy to talk some more if you want another perspective. Link me at keiranking@gmail.com.
I think every one goes through this, and more often than should be the case sometimes people realize that they have picked the wrong path. I was blessed. I selected Compsi Strickly based of what I thought the Job Market was gonna be like, I knew I kinda liked It, I loved Lit way more (still do) but I decided that a programmer gets payed better than a teacher, my philosophy was if I ended up hating it I hope Ide get rich enough to retire early and start doing what Loved (actually I want to become a novelist and I still plan to do so when I retire). My first 2 Years at UWI was the hardest, I realized that Things copuld get reall miserable for me at work. But then DOMS happened. My first day on the Job almost every system that we ran that could crash crashed and we were dashing all over the place scrambling to get everything bak up. While my boss and co workers were totally frantic, I I had a grin on my face, and I realized I was having fun. Thats when I occured to me that if I have a job that when the worst happens all you want to do is jump right in and deal and you feel good about it, well then maybe just maybe I was cut out for this job. I still hated CompSci, but It gave me a new drive to stick it out, school is different from work. I Just hope hope you are so fortunate and that you re-discover you passion. (y)
Don't fall into his trap. Look at his face. Do you honestly think you can trust him?
Ok, now that I've amused myself for the 'ump'teenth time for today, I'll add my farthing.
Finish the degree and then consider all options. I dropped Nat. Sci. like a bad habit and went to Soc. Sci. and did Psychology and Literature. I worked in counselling and then through events beyond my control and understanding I got into Med. Sci. and dropped work and all with only 15 min of consideration. I have nice family support which helps. Do all this now before doors close.
Fly in your spare time. It can be done. Go out for club sides and nurture that talent. Don't limit yourself or feel that you have to follow a particular course because it's what is done. Look at pan ppl they are some of the best persons to learn from in following dreams.
Bianca is a fabulous Com. Sci. person and has no interest in it so she leavin to do whatever she doing (I can't even spell what she doin now).
Keiran gone to film school. HE'S FROM JAMAICA!! most ppl will think he don't stand a chance, but you watch him cause he's gonna blow up big time.
Gay lef Nat Sci work fi do pan.... PAN!!! TO MSc LEVEL!!!!
Gillian lef actuarial work (big money job) fi do counselling psychology.
Racquel lef I.R. to do Law in England (one of the hardest places to do it).
Kathy Bertram is in NY at Gulliard School, best in western world, doing theatre (switching from veterinary medicine).
Damian is a pilot after doing Geo and air waitressing.
Mark Bernard a com. sci. guy won an actor boy award for music (I think).
Andrew , a former bass, is in foreign managing hotel or something of the sort after leavin with Nat. Sci. degree. he did lots of little courses in whatever he liked, making himself so marketable.
The rest have maintained steady paths to higher levels or are soon to move in that direction.
Lots of good examples. The world is your mackrel rundown. Eat it with pumpkin dumpling.
Adrian,
As Hayden mentioned, I am the latest in the string of Panoridimites to go off on a new tangent (Rohan thinks it is something in the air :-)).
It's something I feel pretty strongly about and have talked several of my friends through the transition. It is never easy though but it can be done.
As Hayden said, a simple first step is to pick up those passions on the side. If you want to talk some more I am around (for now - we can talk some before I leave or via email after). But my general advice to anyone is to FOLLOW YOUR HEART!!
Thanks for your comments and reassurance. I'll be in touch.
this is interesting to read again at this stage. I disagree with Hayden that you can fly on the side. It's just not the type of thing you have time for on the side. It's all or none. But you're not too far gone to go for your passions. In fact, what is life if we don't. (eeeh Raisha? what is life if we don't...)
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